203: What is in a Name

Elmo on the Porch

Recently I have again become embroiled in a name controversy, so I feel some clarification is in order. During most of my life most people knew me as Bob, a nickname for Robert. When I first came to North Carolina I was given a severe verbal beating, by a person who eventually became my best client, about how I was disrespecting my parents by not using the name they gave me. When I was finally able to get a word in edge ways, I explained that I was raised in the same city as my father and grandfather and as I was a third and to use either Robert (the name my father used) or Elmo (the name my grandfather used) could cause some confusion. Therefore, my parents chose to call me Bob.

After moving to Monroe, I found every activity I participated was loaded with Bob's. Along about the same time, I started suffering with a stiff neck. In my wisdom I determined my stiff neck problem was caused jerking my head around every time some one hollered Bob. In an effort to relieve the neck condition I decided to change names. Robert sounded to formal, but I knew I could never meet the standards of my Grandfather Elmo. After careful consideration I decided as he was my grandfather he might forgive me for defaming his name so Elmo was my choice. Besides I would have a unique name, who besides me would accept being called Elmo.

Beimg Elmo has partially relieved the neck issues, but has not been without its down sides. I recently went to the pastor of a local church for a little spiritual guidance. After entering his office and him closing the door. His first statement was "What is your real name, because we cannot talk if you are not truthful. " I tried to explain that Elmo was my real name. He refused to believe me. At which time I did as Jesus instructed, I got up walked to the door stopped and brushed the dust off my feet and left. I have never seen a preacher with such a truly dumbfounded look on his face? However, I am not sure he recognized my little act of protest. Later when I decided to become a member of a local church (a different one from above) I had to show them my drivers license before they would believe my name.

Oh, before some one makes a snide comment about the little sign attached to Elmo's arm (Shown above), it is true. Just push my button and see how trying I can get.